Hmmmm....

Where to start? What to say? Well, first off, my niece's chromosomes came back positive for Down Syndrome. Everyone had some tears initially, but seem to be adjusting now. Miss Emily is eating well and gaining weight and that's good progress. I'm hoping that she'll just need a little more time that most kids, but won't have any major health issues. Please continue to pray for Emily and her mommy and daddy.
I did take a HPT on Saturday (10/25). It was negative (sigh... but I'm used to it by now). I'm now on CD 43 and still no signs of a cycle. I'm going to see my OB on 11/3 for my annual visit. I've decided that I'm ready for the referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist and all that it entails. Bring on the Clomid!

Uncertainty

It seems that the last week or so has been filled with uncertainty. I'm now on CD 34 with no signs of a period. I'm still feeling strange with bouts of random nausea and food aversions. I'm also exhausted. I don't want to test because I don't want to be disappointed. I was discussing all this with a couple of girls at work (one of which has 2 kids). They are convinced that I am pregnant this month. I really want to test, but I really don't. I've decided that if my period doesn't show up by this next Saturday (CD 40) then I will test. Since my cycle has resumed, the longest was 38 days. I'm just going to try and enjoy my trip to Las Vegas with my husband and not worry about it.
The other uncertainty that I'm facing is related to my beautiful new niece. The pediatrician at the hospital had some suspicions that she might have Down Syndrome. It takes 2 weeks for the results to come back, so we should know something by a couple of days before Halloween. Please pray for my sister, her husband, and Emily. Being a nurse, I keep looking at her and analyzing every little thing. Mostly, I'm not convinced that she does have Down's, but every once it a while, I look at her just right and think "maybe". We, of course, won't love her any less. But it still won't be an easy road if the test comes back positive for Down's.

Blessed (Again)

Nothing new to report with me. It's still to early to tell about this month. I've been feeling kind of strange the last 5 or so days (tired, nausea in the evenings, and food I normally like turns me off completely). I'm trying not to let my mind work to much and my imagination run away with me. I just don't want to be disappointed again.

The reason I'm feeling so blessed, is because my sister had her baby on Sunday afternoon (10 days before her due date). Miss Emily Elizabeth was born at 2:42pm 10/12/08. She was 6lb 10oz and 20 inches long. Absolutely beautiful. I'm so proud of my little sister.

Things Change

And not always for the better. Just when I thought my body was finally going to cooperate (and it still might...) my hormones go wacky again. I last wrote on CD 33. On CD 34 I started what I guess what my period for the my current cycle. It was only 2 days and basically what you experience at the end of your period (dark, old looking, scant). I kept waiting for a "real" period, but no dice. So, I'm now on CD 14 and I spent too long waiting for a period this month, so now I can't use my fertility monitor. Also, it seems that my prolactin might be on the rise again. It's my own fault. I stopped taking my meds a couple of months ago because my cycles had returned and I was feeling better. So, I started taking them again over the weekend. I'm afraid it's back to square one... or so it seems.

Hurry Up Already!

So, I'm on CD 33 now. Still no period. I have, however, been spotting on and off for 2 days now. I keep thinking that the next time I go to the bathroom, my period will be here, but it's not. I'm getting anxious and wish my body would just hurry up and get on with it. I want to use my new fertility monitor and I can't do that until my cycle starts!
On a semi related note, my sister's shower on Saturday turned out well. Of the 19 guests invited, only 7 showed up. It was basically all family and my sister's best friend. I really get annoyed when people can't bother to RSVP. How long does it take to make a phone call and at least let someone know you won't be able to make it? It really only makes a difference in my planning if you can't be there. Oh well. She still got a lot of nice gifts as the people that would have bought the most were there anyway. I hope she enjoyed it.

Glutton for Punishment

I'm throwing my second baby shower in a 3 month time period on Saturday. I love the person I'm throwing it for (my sister) and regardless of my situation, I know I can do this for her. The shower I hosted in June was for my sister in law and it was a little harder as I still didn't have any answers then.
My cycle seems to be moving along. I'm on CD 26 now with no signs of a period yet. My last cycle was 38 days, so I expect more of the same this month. I'm just really ready to get on with it so that I can start using my fertility monitor next month.

Unrelated

I'm not going to talk about pregnancy or babies. On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to talk (just briefly) about work. I love my job and that hasn't changed. I recently applied for a supervisor position at work. Long and stressful interview process. The group of candidates was strong, but I originally thought I might have a shot. That was until one of the supervisors on the regular ICU side put her name into the running for the supervisor on the cardiac side. When that happened, I knew my shot was gone. She's a great person, but I figured that (fair or not) she was a shoe in because she was already a supervisor. And today, I found out I was right. I didn't get the job, and she did. What a bummer. Our manager said that she wanted to mentor me and get me ready to be a supervisor when the next position opens up. She was really excited when I applied and thinks I'll be great at it... one day.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I just needed to get it out...