4 Weeks Old!

My how time flies. This picture was taken over my shoulder last night of my newphew, Aiden. He's growing up so fast!

Purchase

When I last wrote, I mentioned that I had planned to buy some OPKs and get started using them like my OB/GYN suggested. I bought the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor off of EBay today. It's "regular" price is $199.99 and I got a brand new one today for $105 with free shipping. It won't be here in time to use this cycle as you are supposed to start on CD (cycle day) 5 or sooner and I'm already on CD 11. My cycle was 38 days this time which isn't too bad in the grand scheme of things I guess. I'm due to see my OB again at the end of October or first of November for my annual visit, so I think I'll just use my new monitor for a few cycles and see if I'm actually ovulating now that I'm cycling. If not, I'll go ahead and see about getting my referral to a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist). No sense in rushing to see a new doc when I've been going at this almost a year already. It's hard to imagine that had this been easy for me, I would probably have a baby now. Kind of bittersweet in a way. Oh well, I'm sure my day will come. I'll just be that much more in love with my child when God decides it's my turn.

Surprised

This past Thursday, a surprising thing happened. I actually started a period (on my own, unmedicated). This is only my 3rd cycle in 11 months and the 1st cycle that wasn't induced by medication. Apparently, the round of BCP that I did might have actually jump started my body and made it remember what it was supposed to do. Now we just have to see if I'm actually ovulating. I'm going to buy some of those OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) and use them like my OB/GYN recommended before all this mess started. Maybe now that it seems like my body might actually work, I will finally be able to get pregnant. We just have to wait and see...

Torture

So, this weekend I went to Houston for my niece's 6th birthday party. Almost 50% of the adults (friends of my sister in law) at her party were pregnant or had new babies. I've been doing so well with my other sister in law's pregnancy and birth of my nephew and the pregnancy of my sister. But, I almost lost it. I felt that green eyed monster just dying to come out. Luckily, I have pretty good self control. The worst part of it is, I'm having these crazy "symptoms". My boobs HURT. Like, if I accidentally brush them with a bag or purse, I just want to cringe. And now, I'm peeing constantly (like every 2-3 hrs). I feel fine otherwise. I'm sure it's just my mind playing tricks again, but I felt these symptoms before I even went to Houston and saw all these pregnant people. I know in my heart that I'm not pregnant, but my brain can't be convinced not to test. Ugh... I wish this wasn't so hard.

Slacking

Wow... I can't believe I let a month go by without updating. Bad blogging on my part. However, I'm not really sure if anyone reads this, so I guess it doesn't matter too much.

Let's see... what's been going on? Well, I started a period on 7/7 (thanks to the BCP). It was the heaviest, worst period in my life. I'm talking bleeding straight through a super tampon in 3 hours heavy (sorry... TMI). Luckily, it was only that heavy for about 2 days. Now, it's back to the waiting game. I'm really hoping that this is the jump start my body needs to do things on it's own. I may be on the right track, though, as I had a little bit of spotting for a couple of days around cycle day 15. I'm now on cycle day 23 with no spotting. I really wanted to chart my cycles using FAM (Fertility Awareness Method), but with my sleep/work schedule, I can't take my temp and expect it to be accurate. All I can do is monitor CM (cervical mucous) at this point.

I did learn something interesting this past weekend though. I had lunch with some friends from high school. As it turns out, both of them struggled a bit to get pregnant, and I have another friend from high school who has been trying as long as we have. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Now that I have reconnected with these wonderful girls, I have someone who has been there to talk with.

The only other thing going on didn't actually happen directly to me. I just benefit from it. On Sunday 7/27 at 11:00am my sister-in-law delivered a beautiful baby boy. Aiden Wade (see picture above) was 8lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. He's absolutely beautiful and I'm completely in love with him. I have a niece and nephew from my husband's brother and his wife already. While they are also beautiful and wonderful, they just live too far away (Houston) and I don't get to see them often. This little one just lives about 20 minutes away. I'm so excited to be a part of his life and watch him grow up. Now I just need to get him a cousin to grow up with!

Spotting

Yes... you read that right. I'm about half way through my BCP pack and I started spotting last night. Just a little light pink with some occasional darker pink streaks on the tp. This is the first attempt my body has made at a cycle since last September! I can't believe I'm excited about this, but I am. Maybe I'll actually have a "real" cycle in about 10 days when I'm done with this pack.

Yuck

That's how I feel. I started taking my Yaz again on Thursday night. I never realized how bad BCP made me feel before. Since I took them for almost 9 years, I guess I just got used to the feeling. Now that I have been extra hormone free for 9 months, starting back up has not been fun. I'll be glad when I can get back off them. I have been nauseated and just run down. I think the only good thing that could come from this is that maybe my face will clear back up. Even before BCP, I was not a "zitty" teenager. Then on BCP they were even fewer and further between. I have not enjoyed breaking out to say the least. I'm just going to count down the days until I'm finished with this pack. Only 20 more days (Yaz is a 24 day pack of active pills) and counting....